Well, my husband has finally been approved for disability but that's not as good as it sounds. In some way it is wonderful (Starting in April he will finally have full coverage insurance and finally get back to treatments) and in other ways it comes with some devastating news. I am going to push real life numbers out here and be gut honest and some might say I am too open but really I don't care. *Shrug* It's life, why hide it? What if it helps someone to learn from it? So here goes:
Background: Many of you know this but it does pretty much decide our future so it needs touched upon again. Something like 11 or 12 years ago, Jerry's then wife, took the foster children they had in the home, dumped them on the doorstep of DFS, then took their two adopted children and jumped state. To buy her time she called the sheriff's office and made several false charges against Jerry. He was working at the PD at the time all this happened, so he was then hand cuffed to his desk for hours while investigations started. It took months, as he was a police officer, but eventually all charges were dropped. Of course this bought the nasty wife time. Time in which to jump state, and start proceedings to get child support. So now it was a battle between MO and AZ. Jerry tried all he could. This is when I met him. He had sunk all he had into getting his children back. But they weren't extradited back, so he lost all. I lost all with him and we went bankrupt. (This was over a several year process, in which time we were married, etc.) His lawyer told him not to follow them to AZ or she would just try it again. (During the entire thing, it was found out she, in fact, did try this before and LOST. Her child from that first husband contacted Jerry on Facebook. The father got custody and Jerry didn't even know about the whole situation until it happened to him. )
He's never had contact with his kids again. This is America. It happens. Look up Parental Alienation. It's a big deal.
Now, here is the problem with disability.
All this time, child support has built up. I am going to give real life numbers, cuz this is the truth of our situation.
We should have been awarded $34,000 in back pay. But back owed child support will take $18,000.
The problem is, long term disability also has to be paid back their entire portion. They said if we take the back pay then we are double paid for this time, so they get the entire $34,000. That's kind of hard to do when child support takes $18,000.
Which leaves us paying long term the difference. Somehow. I don't even know how.
Now lets look at his monthly disability that was awarded:
He was awarded $1260 a month. But child support will be garnished for their monthly which is $700. Plus we have to pay Medicare and Medigap. This leaves his monthly income at $400. Minus whatever the long term people are going to require. He was receiving $1700 a month on long term. We just suffered a $1300 (and then some) loss of income.
Thankfully I have received a promotion and raises at work. It helps a little but in now way comes close to covering this gap. Therefore, I have a couple of HUGE prayer requests:
1) MO is fighting AZ in court about the child support. Again. Prayers please that the child support is dropped for good. The children already receive SSI for being adopted with disabilities (as infants.) One of the children is 19 years old. The children will get part of the disability awarded to Jerry's children. (it has to be divided between them all, so Stephen will only receive a small portion. ) The ex is head charge nurse over some unit so she's financially just fine. We need the child support dropped. Period. He's not seen, talked to, heard from the children in 12 years, so for once let's pray the courts do the right thing here.
2) We need to purchase our home. We need to get a new roof and a few other things in the loan, but the loan should only be for $60,000 or so. If we cannot get this loan, I just don't even know our next step. We are awaiting the child support decision before we attempt the loan. But, by purchasing, it should drop what we pay a month by several hundred dollars. If we cannot get the loan we will be forced to move to public housing. Jerry will lose his tools, I will lose my quilting business for good ( I am still struggling it along, waiting for the day when I can devote more time to it...especially since our family really needs this income), and our family will lose our dog. I cannot let this happen to Stephen. No way.
3) I have to get three years of taxes done. Asap. Ive drug my feet because I am NO accountant. I loathe it and I don't understand all the ins and outs of the tax stuff. It stresses me to no end. Like big time stresses me but I can't buy a home with three years of taxes needing done.
So there it is, all in its out in the open glory. Sometimes I am not real proud to be an American. Sometimes I get really disgusted by 'the system'. Just sayin'.