Sunday, November 27, 2016

About mysteries, life, and more. (wordy post: beware)

So, our mystery is done.
I have made a personal vow to myself to sew up three of this pattern. It might take me some time but I REALLY want to start selling real patterns. Real live patterns like a real live quilt pattern designer. And real patterns need real photos of finished quilts. So I AM going to get three sewn up someday.

Only, as usual, my so called life gets in the way. So I am considering how to move forward. Do I stop here and sew up three before offering the next mystery?

NO NO NO. I am WAY too in love with our mystery quilts for that. Plus the next is already designed and ready for me to begin. I can't wait to tell you about it. I will, maybe even next week.

So that leaves me with sewing up three of the Space Journey pattern plus sewing up two of the next mystery plus at least 2 of another I am designing.

HOW IN THE WORLD? i have no idea. but it will happen because I am tired of putting MY dreams away and this is my dream. so it will happen.

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I need to spend a moment talking about my so called life so you know why I am sometimes slow to post etc. I mean I know you know that I work full time outside the home now. And I sell stuff online. And my husband is sick. And I homeschool a 6 yr old boy. But there is more..

and because someone bought my mystery and I never sent it because i was overwhelmed I feel like I need to explain the more... so I am going to.

Really I grow weary of talking about my life...but then I feel bad when it takes me half a century to ship an order I feel like I need to say why. So, here goes nothing...

Sept/Oct were some of the worst months we've had in a long time.
1) My husband went to a disabililty hearing (finally) but the lawyer forgot to get the evidence of the hospital records from when he had his 9 strokes, so the hearing was put on hold and we still wait. And wait.

2) My ex husband decided to convince my oldest son to drop out of school so that the ex would no longer have to pay child support. For real, it happened. Because of this sudden loss of income, I've been unable to make my car payment. This Friday, Dec 2nd, they will start proceedings to repossess my car which I willingly surrender with tears in my eyes. I could care less about the car but my credit I will cry over. And I have to find some way to drive 60 miles a day for work. Ive been working feverishly to find a way to save this but it's time t say goodbye and to start my credit life all over again. sigh. But even worse than this is the choice my son made.

3) When I was promoted at work, my medical insurance changed which caused my husband to obtain new insurance from the market place. Well his deductible is now $6400. Which means we've been unable to afford his life saving meds. His meds total $1700 month. I don't even make that much money. We've been contacting companies and now he has insulin for a month, but what about the liver meds, chrons meds, blood thinners, water pills... all these very important meds for him... I cannot provide them. THEN to make matters worse we have had to cancel two very important medical procedures that could actually be life threatening if we put them off too much longer. But what can I do?

4) I have a machine that cuts my paper pieces for my mysteries but the stupid machine had a hiccup that took me forever to fix. Due to this ( and me trying to work every single minute that I can), it took almost a month to get one mystery papers order ready and the customer ended up losing her very patient patience and I totally understand but it devastates me. I am trying so hard to build this business so that maybe someday I can 'come home" when things get too bad with hubby... and these hiccups need to not happen. Word of mouth can be very bad for business too.

5) Ive been to either the ER or Urgent care 6 different times since mid Sept. I had a reaction to ibuprofen and then my body reacted to anything and every thing it wanted to. So that when I got sinusitis and bronchitis I ended up even having asthma and being sicker than a dog.

6) I made the difficult decision to shut down a business which is costing me thousands of dollars....which I wont get into but it is. Thankfully some good hearts has made this easier.


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So all of that has happened since September. People ask how I keep pushing and doing so much. How can I not? I HAVE to work...like every spare moment I can.
I need to sell off anything not tied down.
I need to design patterns and sell them.
I need to sew quilted items and sell them.
I need to sell laser engraved items. (and actually its doing well).
I need to do this and that and and and


So that is why folks. That is why sometimes I am slow to post. That is why I wish to sew much faster than I do but I don't. But all the above is why I need to keep stepping one foot in front of the other for my dream.
The dream used to be to own a shop but now I want to travel and teach EPP workshops, including mystery workshops. Would you quilt shop or guild enjoy that?
 Dog gone it anyway. That car that I bought? We actually measured the thing before we purchased. We made sure it could hold my display walls for shows. It is perfect for coming to guilds. But it will be history in a week. I guess I work too much anyway so pfft. Later. That dream is for later.

Am I down? a bit. You surely can understand.
But I am taking all these step backwards right now and surely at some point I'll hit a bump that will toss me forward!

And the one thing that keeps me smiling (besides my bright and sunny precious little son..the young one still doing school) is my mysteries. I love them so.
I think tonight I might shut myself in my room and start gluing the next up. I will TOTALLY enjoy that.